“The Contest” · Grace Paley (Response)

Some of the phrasing sounds dated to me, but that's only partly the reason this reminds me of Catcher in the Rye. Freddy seems like a perhaps adult version of Holden Caulfield. He's generally aloof and uncaring, which leaves him isolated. I can't honestly say I feel sorry for Freddy when Dotty uses him & dumps him. I don't feel sorry for her either; it's clear she manipulated him.

“Big, Black, Good Man” · Richard Wright (Response)

Great story. It kept me engaged and wondering about the black man's story. It was clear there was something more there, but Olaf's obsession kept it at bay.

Olaf shifts from a meandering reminiscence on his life to a neurosis, steeped in racism. It's similar to some of the accounts I hear of Vipassanā, where one goes through a complete relationship with someone perhaps only briefly met (a crush, obsession, then a break up for imagined flaws), the entire time only in one's mind.

“I’m Your Horse in the Night” · Luisa Valenzuela (Response)

This story was amazing in its intensity, despite its brevity. I have never had cachaça, but I feel this story must be like it; a strong concentrated liquor. Gal Costa is one of my favorite singers. I had never heard the song in this story (Sem Açucar?), but I could hear her version of Sonho Meu as they were listening to her record.

“One Arm” · Yasunari Kawabata (Response)

"People walk around
looking for selves, far away."
"And do they come upon them?"
"Far away," said the arm once more.

What part of other people do we take with us? Memories, and our view of them. Experiences we've shared.

I'm not sure what to think of this story. The magicality of the arm is fascinating, but the nature of the relationship between the narrator and the girl made me uneasy, although it seemed innocent.

The conversation with the arm reminds me of something from Parasyte, where people's bodies, or in one case simply a limb, are taken over by an alien race.

“Spring in Fialta” · Vladimir Nabokov (Response)

While I love Nabokov's turn of phrase, this story had a sad futility to it. Victor's unrequited love is something I'm sure many can identify with, in some fashion or another.

“The Life of the Imagination” · Nadine Gordimer (Response)

Barbara is lonely, and an affair is partially the result. I wonder about her imaginative following of Dr. Usher through the streets. Is the entire story a fantasy? The little details of their covert communication and rendezvous seem too specific, as well as her personal reactions.
"She learnt that shabbiness is the judgment of the outsider, the one left in the cold; there are no shabby love- affairs for those who are the lovers."

“Fat” · Raymond Carver (Response)

This man seems tortured. No just by his enormous and insatiable appetite, but also by his seeming inability to control himself, and perhaps mostly by his use of the pronoun 'we.'

The narrator is a kind soul; she's the only one who doesn't seem disgusted by him. Perhaps this compassion is what afflicts her once she arrives home - plus that fact that no one around her seems to share it.

“The Adulterous Woman” · Albert Camus (Response)

It's been years since I read Camus, and I was instantly taken by his turn of phrase. He seems to be able to pour so much meaning into one sentence.
"By so often making her aware that she existed for him he made her exist in reality."
"The years had passed in the semi-darkness behind the half-closed shutters."

What a wonderful story! Janine found herself and experienced a sort of spiritual awakening in her nocturnal stroll. Despite that, it seems she'll never leave Marcel, even after having this glimpse of her possibilities. Perhaps we are all a bit like that.

The Adventure of a Traveler” · Italo Calvino (Response)

Curious title, perhaps tongue in cheek? Federico seems rather neurotic; he has a hard time focusing on the present unless everything is perfect. He is nervous before leaving for his trip, constantly irritated and trying to adjust his surroundings during his trip, and encumbered by a tension after he arrives. Then again, I've experienced this same nervousness when preparing for a trip, but once I'm on my way, I try to relax and am not too concerned about my surroundings (other than appreciating new sights and sounds). There is a certain calm in traveling; you only have to be concerned about yourself and the next stage of your trip, when it comes. I'm able to detach a bit from my other concerns when I arrive, and I find that fretting about limited time is counterproductive to the purpose of the trip. I suppose he is in love; many of his thoughts seems to carry him toward his lovely Cinzia. However, he seems more taken with a nervous anticipation than a sincere appreciation for his situation.
Is there a Zen koan in each of these stories?

Home - Project 3 - Racial housing segregation in Tri-Cities

Home - Racial housing segregation in Tri-Cities

Someplace - No place

Someplace - No place (Project 2)

Reading Response: "Cowardice" by Abdeslam Boulaich

1st read: This must be a Mogrebi Koan.

2nd read + several days marinating: It it a greater evil to lie to get into heaven or to resist lying, yet doom people to eternal damnation? Either way you're lying. Why not get into heaven in the process?

Reading Response: "This Way For The Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen" by Tadeusz Borowski

Although not on the syllabus, the title intrigued me, so I started reading it. As I feared, it was about what I expected. Borowski captures what I'd expect hell to be like. Not because of the inhumane conditions for oneself alone, but because treating others inhumanely is the only way to survive. I'm sure others have captured this sentiment, but with Borowski, it is not-stop. It seems every last scrap of humanity is stripped from him and the disembarking passengers, at his forced bidding. He mentions kindness a couple times, but it is only through lying to the travelers; he hides their future from them, giving them some hope. I'm not sure what kind of gift this is.
The incessant inhumanity is akin to beating a human until there is nothing left, even the bloody pulp is reduced to tatters, then a bloody stain, then nothing. Like roadkill, the cars keep coming, and those who are destroyed are forgotten. I suspect that writing his story was therapeutic, but that he struggled with these thoughts until his early death. His story, while capturing the insanity and monstrosity of the camps, also helps record the desperation and fear of the victims. I cried while I read it. I am glad I did.

I recently watched a video interview of a woman with schizophrenia, and she said that some of her hallucinations include a clown (not unlike Stephen King's It) and the girl from The Ring. I'm curious if she had seen these films (wouldn't seem wise to me) or if she absorbed these characters through cultural osmosis. I've not seen either one, but I'm familiar with both. Even more so than these filmic characters, I would expect the inhumanity in Borowski's story to populate my worst nightmares. There is the Buddhist guideline of feeding your brain with only the healthy stuff; once it's in there it doesn't come out. But for now, educating oneself in our inhumanity to each other is a necessary part of losing one's innocence. The trick is turning it into fuel to move yourself and society forward rather than fuel that consumes and destroys you.

Here's another great video from the same YouTube channel. Very humanizing and encouraging. It is great to see good, kind people. It makes me hopeful.

Reading Response: “The Aleph” by Jorge Luis Borges

Admittedly, this is my first exposure to Borges. I think I've found a favorite new author. I was quickly aware of the magical realism in this story, although I'm really just passingly aware of its existence. So, it turns out Borges is essentially a pioneer of the genre.

While looking up other references to the Aleph (the phenomenon, not the short story or letter), I found myself drawn into Borges' Wikipedia article.  I found the Aleph fascinating, not only because of the surreal/mystical potentialities, but also because of the era in which it was written.

Structurally, I'm fascinated by the tension Borges creates in the story. While the author focuses at first on Beatriz Viterbo, wistfully remembering her, he seems drawn to her pompous cousin Carlos in a conflicted manner. His amazement at the Aleph is similarly conflicted; despite the revelations it presents; he calls it a 'false Aleph,' and then presents of us with 'proof' of similar objects from literature and history, which he seems to prefer.

Clearly, I'll need to revisit this story again to see what else it reveals. Also, this.

Zine - People Are People

My zine: People Are People* (Autumn 2019).

Reading Response: "Jacklighting" by Ann Beattie

I appreciate the opening of Jacklighting: "It is Nicholas's birthday. Last year he was alive..." (p. 77). Beattie might as well have written "Something bad happened, and everything is different now," much as Banks might've written "something bad will happen, and it will change everything" in "The Child Screams and Looks Back at You." Of course Beattie uses this wording on purpose, and we are led through a description of somewhat mundane activities before learning that Nicholas had brain damage and died after being hit by a drunk driver.

Nicholas appears to have been the eccentric or a visionary, definitely the one who noticed things no one else notices. It may be that trait of his that has become his brother and friend's biggest loss. He is the man, Beattie writes, in what I assume to be Henri Cartier-Bresson's "Brussels, Belgium" (1932), who is looking to the side, rather than at the wall.

Beattie's style reminds me a bit of Kerouac, in the way she describes the details of everyday life. In the end, what else is there?

Reading Response: “The Child Screams Back at You” by Russel Banks

The breathless opening reminded me immediately of Luke O’Neil https://luke.substack.com/, where the hurried stream of consciousness implies an overwhelmed sensibility. I read Luke’s blog when I want to feel shittier about the world, and it usually works. I think he would approve. 

There was a nearly constant sense of tension, a foreboding, a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop that kept me reading Banks straight through. The dream passage that includes the title (p. 68) really illustrates this sentiment. This sense of impending doom was rewarded, as expected.

Here is the main reason I go to the doctor: “Information is useful only insofar as it provides peace of mind, release from the horrifying visions of dead children, an end to this dream” (p. 67). I love how the doctor starts with mild possible sicknesses and then ratchets up the severity as more proof emerges. I had a discussion of this nature when my son broke his arm. (A Spiderman costume was involved.) The doctor said he didn’t think it was broken, and I said, “I heard it snap” and insisted on an x-ray, revealing a badly broken forearm. 

Thanks, Leslie, for the Robyn Hitchcock

My cousin Leslie turned me onto Robyn Hitchcock with a mix-tape she made for me in the lates 80s or early 90s. Robyn still performs regularly on KEXP. Here is his latest performance from 2017.
His songs that I initially fell in love with include Globe of Frogs and Sleeping With Your Devil Mask. Make sure you also listen to his Swedish version of Alright, Yeah. (after listening to the original English version, of course).

If you are in Seattle on a weekday, swing by KEXP, you might get a chance to see Robyn, or a number of other great bands live and for free! Until then, check out the amazing archive of live performances, and discover something new!

Miss you, cousin!

Reading Response: "Hair Jewellery" by Margaret Atwood

Atwood's "Hair Jewellery" has come unstuck in time. Despite obvious clues like airports and parking lots, I wasn't sure if it was an American Gothic tale with fears of consumption or a bleak future. The narrator makes repeated references to herself or others being scholars or writers in the vein of Poe, Hawthorne or Tennyson. Atwood's writing style also leaves us with impressions of grey clothes and dismal air; she is constantly clutching at historical references that lend uncertainty as to when we are.

The narrator says "I resurrect myself through clothes," but being poor, like the rest of us, she gets her clothes from Filene's Basement, a squalid, second-hand store where nothing fits. She notes that "No one went there who did not aspire to a shape-change, a transformation, a new life" (p. 29) and her despair about the future is palpable: "Our problem, I thought, was that neither the world around us nor the future stretching before us contained any image of what we might conceivably become" (p. 31). The sense of melancholy continues: "alone I could wallow uninterrupted in romantic doom" (p. 34). Even as she notes that 'banality is after all the magic antidote for unrequited love" (p. 38), this doesn't seem to cure her of her melancholy, even after she has a new career, a husband, and children. 

Reading Response: Chinua Achebe's The Sacrificial Egg

In Chinua Achebe's "The Sacrificial Egg," the language lends an air of uncertainty and provides cultural depth. The description of smallpox as an evil goddess lent intensity to the seriousness of the threat, without any doubt about its veracity. However, I had a hard time determining what else was real or not. Did Julius cause his finance's death by stepping on the egg? Julius is obviously terrified of the the spirits, and he says they are real. Yet he acknowledges near the end that the spirits are teenagers dressed up in costumes.

Animation response

Diagram of a room with open door.
Triangle moves in & door closes.
Smaller triangle and circle approach from outside.
Big triangle leaves and interacts with the other two shapes.
Circle goes into room & closes door. Triangles interact.
Big triangle comes in. They interact.
Small triangle opens the door. Circle goes out & interacts with small triangle.
Big triangle leaves room and chases smaller shapes around the outside of the room.
Smaller shapes leave.
The big triangle hits the room and starts taking the room apart.

I am alive!

I've created a Slack channel for this class to make it easy for folks to ask for help, specifically if they're on campus; they can ask if anyone's around. It's also a great resource for crowdsourcing in general amongst our classmates & available on mobile as well as via the web.

Join here:

https://join.slack.com/t/dtc354/shared_invite/enQtNzM2MjMxNzAzODQ3LTQ0Y2Y2NTE1MTk4NzI0MzE5NmFlNTk3OGJmOTliNDM3ODc4MTlhNWRmNTg3ZTIzZTBmMzQ0N2UyMDFlZDVmZWU